The Real Housewives Of New York City Is Currently Boring Without Bethenny

That is Ramona and her pinot grigio with her arm around the Bethenny replacement, Cindy Barshop, at Cindy's birthday party, that was not a birthday party, at some horse farm at what is, apparently, known as the downscale zone of the Hamptons on Long Island.

This latest episode of The Real Housewives of New York City may have been one of the most boring in Housewive Franchise history.

I'm starting to think the loss of Bethenny Frankel has left a HUGE hole that the remaining housewives, and the new one, can't fill.

Speaking of the new housewife, Cindy, who is not married and so is not a wife, along with Countess Luann and Kelly, who also have no husbands, I really do not like Cindy.

In all of New York City the RHONY producers could not do better than this?

I'm starting to wonder if the reason the New York girls had their show's premiere postponed was because it was realized how boring it was. So, they went back over their footage to see if there was some more material to work with.

For months Bravo milked "Thug in a Cocktail Dress" in promos. The "Thug in a Cocktail Dress" really turned out to be much ado about little.

This week it was Sonja falling off a horse that got the promo blitz. And that turned out to be nothing. We should have figured, after seeing Sonja's ample derriere exposed in the first episode's preview of the coming season, that Sonja had ample padding, on her backside, to easily overcome a hard landing on it.

Luann had a cocktail party at which Ramona provided a little drama by grilling Luann about leaving her kids in the Hamptons while she goes to NYC. To work on her music career. When Luann talks about working on her music career it seems even funnier than when Kim Zolciak does it.

Due to it being so boring I lose track of the sequence of events. At one point Sonja meets Cindy downtown for lunch. This turns into way too much about Cindy's problem with her teeth veneers. Which somehow had Cindy thinking it was okay to bail on the lunch she had invited Sonja to. But not before Sonja told Cindy she was planning on inviting Ramona to Sonja's toaster oven cooking lessons with Kelly. Which had Cindy advising against this.

Then at Luann's cocktail party Cindy got Kelly aside and warned her not to bring her kids to Sonja's toaster oven cooking lesson. This had Kelly scared as to what the threat could possibly be. This had Cindy swearing Kelly to secrecy, after which she informed her about Sonja's evil Ramona plan.

Despite promising discretion, Kelly then later confronted Sonja, on the beach, in the Hamptons, about the Ramona Intervention. Sonja tried to reason with Kelly, which we've learned is not possible, which soon had Kelly laying on the sand making sand angels.

There was an extremely boring segment at Luann's house in Southampton, with her daughter. Then boyfriend, Jacque, showed up where he got weird on the floor, talking to the dog. Jacque sort of creeps me out. He looks to be half the size of Luann. On Watch What Happens Live Luann said Jacque gets told a lot he looks like David Schwimmer and Adrian Brody. Can David and Adrian sue for such slander?

We saw a segment with Luann taking her son, Noel, to a skate shop, on Long Island, where Noel hawked the skateboards he has designed. I know Luann has been a bit cash strapped waiting for her singing career to take off, but putting the young teenager to work seemed a bit much. Noel has a website selling his skateboards. He calls his business Fancy Fool. He seems like a good kid.

Cindy made a big deal about a party at the aforementioned horse farm not being a birthday party, for her, because she never has birthday parties. But it turned out to be a big, weird birthday party. It was funny when Ramona arrived and demanded her pinot grigio. Before noon. And then Ramona wanted to ride a horse, but they would not allow her to take the reigns, instead leading Ramona around like a little drunk kid on a pony.

Cindy had a freak out because dip was on the buffet table. She's really weird.

Ramona then tried to confront Cindy's brother, Howie, about some remark he made about a cigar and Ramona's dead friend, Jeff. I sort of get Ramona's point. But can that woman carry a grudge? And always choose the wrong time to address it.

Jill returns from Australia in next week's episode. RHONY better pick up. There are battle lines drawn now. Cindy has royally pissed off Sonja. Crazy Kelly can return at any time. Ramona reliably provides amusement. I am somewhat optimistic that this week's episode was just a lull before a big crazy storm.

That is sort of hinted at the Housewive's blogs on the Bravo website. I've not seen so much sniping at each other on the blogs before. A lot of defensive spinning of the "facts." Reading the blogs was more entertaining than watching the show.

The Real Housewives of New York City Reunion Part 3: More Crazy Kelly, Bethenny Hugs Jill

Part 3 of The Real Housewives of New York City Reunion Show was almost a Part too many. It seemed like more of the same. Two hours of it were great. The third hour, not so much.

Listening to Kelly's incoherent babble is frustrating after awhile. It makes me want it to be a courtroom where the judge orders her to answer the question.

At the end of Part 2 Kelly stormed off the set. At the start of Part 3 the girls talk about how demented Kelly is and how hopeless it is to try and make sense of the Kelly mess.

And then Kelly returns as if nothing really happened. And then more Kooky Kelly talk starts up.

And Andy Cohen lends way too much credence to Kelly's inane insane mind ramblings, as if he is trying to re-interpret her convoluted, contradictory gibberish into something that makes sense.

If only Andy Cohen had gone after Kelly's weirdness with the intensity he went after Countess LuAnn regarding her ex-husband, the Count's, possible anti-semite attitudes.

Sonja put on display, again, why viewers have readily adopted her as a favorite. Sonja is a well-spoken, self-deprecating, self-aware, intelligent, funny voice of reason. Sort of the total opposite of Kelly.

In the last segment Andy asked each of the housewives if they'd return for another season. Alex and Sonja were enthusiastic. LuAnn sort of enthusiastic, as was Ramona. Kelly, as usual, made no sense, but she'd love to come back. And Bethenny and Jill have doubts about returning.

And then, the predictable end. After a couple tearful exchanges, Jill asked Bethenny if she could give her a hug. Bethenny nodded her assent. Jill then clumsily wobbled over to Bethenny on those ridiculous neon green high heel hooker shoes that have become a real eyesore after 3 hours.

And then Andy wrapped it up, saying it was ending happy, just like it liked to end things.

It did not seem all that happy to me. A happy ending would have been Kelly being physically removed, wrapped in a straight jacket.

The Real Housewives Of New York City Season 3: Bethenny Gets Naked For PETA Kelly Gets Naked for Playboy

Well, the first episode of Season 3 of The Real Housewives of New York City did not disappoint.

We opened with 50 something Ramona Singer on a yacht, awaiting the arrival of Countess LuAnn de Lesseps, Jill Zarin and Alex McCord, sans Simon.

Ramona was wearing a midriff baring bikini like thing that Jill let be known she thought inappropriate for someone of Ramona's advanced age. Of course, Jill did not share this opinion with Ramona, just with the audience, so Ramona got to hear it with the rest of us, obvious future fight fodder at the reunion show.

These girls really hold on to grudges. LuAnn seems to be oozing with issues. On the boat she confronted Ramona about Ramona's husband Mario's remark at some photo shoot, where the photographer asked for the Countess, to which Mario said something like "you mean Countless?"

This did not seem to me to be something worth taking umbrage over, it was sort of funny. But LuAnn was all sorts of hurt over it. Jill opined in. Pretty soon Ramona went into drunken Ramona brittle mode and we had the first fight of the new season.

Previous to that we learned, from Jill, that she and Bethenny were no long BFF's, due to Bethenny committing the unpardonable horror of suggesting, on the phone, that Jill get a hobby.

These people really need some real problems.

Then we saw Bethenny get naked on a New York City rooftop, posing for PETA's I'd Rather Be Naked Than Wear Fur campaign. We pretty much saw Bethenny's bare butt, which later upset the latest love of her life, I think the name was Jason. He seemed normal. How is he going to fit in with these nutcases?

We first saw Crazy Kelly Bensimon when LuAnn and Jill showed up for drinks at Kelly's invitation. Kelly seems to have been re-invented as a chastised ex-boy friend beating chagrined ex-convict. There was some dissing of Bethenny. Well, a lot of dissing. By this time we'd heard Bethenny's version of the problem with Jill. Per the norm, Bethenny's version seems far more elevated and sensible than Jill's.

Then we saw Bethenny and boyfriend out in, I think, the Hamptons, then the boyfriend dropping Bethenny off for a drink meet with LuAnn. Bethenny had driven 2 hours for this drink meet. LuAnn started it off awkward by asking for it to be made clear who was paying for the drinks. Bethenny had a totally appropriate WTF expression on her face. She may also have said the words represented by WTF.

Like I said, LuAnn can hold a grudge. Apparently Bethenny had invited LuAnn to go take surfing lessons, years ago. Bethenny got hit with the bill. Bethenny remarked to the camera how is it that I, the poorest of these people, always gets hit with the bill?

Apparently LuAnn did not see the humor, held onto this, and then hit Bethenny with it at the drink encounter. It was bizarre. I agree with those who say LuAnn really needs to read an etiquette book. Etiquette Rule #1 is always make people feel comfortable. I've been on the receiving end of LuAnn sorts. They are very difficult to deal with.

Funniest part was Bethenny promising never to say bad stuff behind LuAnn's back and then cut to talking to the audience, ending whatever Bethenny was saying with "You nutcase Drag Queen" or something like that. Drag Queen was part of it, I don't exactly remember the preceding phrase. I suspect the Drag Queen remark will be heard again.

I'm sure I'm forgetting things. Oh, Jill's husband went through a cancer episode. Bethenny did not show sufficient concern. LuAnn's divorce was troubling. Bethenny did not show sufficient concern.

Previews showed a lot of good fighting, including the scene you see in the picture at the top, of Kelly's face looking in pain, with Bethenny yelling at her. Can't wait.

In the meantime I learned last night that I need to see the March issue of Playboy. I was channel chasing and came upon the Joy Behar Show on one of the cable news stations, CNN, FOX or MSNBC. I suspect it was the latter.

Anyway, new best friends, Jill, LuAnn and Kelly were getting grilled by Joy. During this grilling is when I learned that Kelly has taken her clothes off for Playboy and was on the cover. Kelly's ex-husband, Gilles Bensimon, took the photos.

Joy asked, what about the children, how can you forget about the children? Kelly responded that she talked it over with her kids for their input about mommy getting naked for a magazine. The kids were fine with it and very proud that Hugh Hefner wanted to see their 40 something mommy naked.

What struck me as odd, among many odd things striking me, was last season, on Halloween, we saw Kelly walking the streets of New York in her skimpy Jane outfit, next to Max being Tarzan. Kelly remarked that she was costumed conservatively, due to, you know, she has kids.

And, now, a short time later, the kids can take mommy to show and tell at school to show off her magazine spread. A couple weeks ago Bart Simpson went through similar humiliation when his mom, Marge, posed scantily for a charity calendar. But, not as skimpily as Kelly in Playboy.

Looking forward to next week's fights on The Real Housewives of New York City. I wonder how Ramona is going to react to Kelly getting naked in Playboy?