Yes, I know I said I was done with American Idol. And then I went and watched it last night, well, fast forwarded through it, and was freshly annoyed.Tim Urban will be my example of what annoys me. That is he in the picture. He is only 20. Just a kid.
So, last week the so-called Judges, who are more accurately called Contrary Cranks, made a big deal about how the singers were now on a Big Stage, the Kodak Theater, and that they needed to amp it up to fill the stage. Or something like that.
Miley Cyrus, who is younger than just about all but one, was the guest mentor. That in itself is just odd. Miley seemed to like Tim okay and encouraged him. He does not get a lot of encouragement from anyone associated with this show. Or so it seems.
Tim sang Queen's The Thing About Love, or some title like that. Catchy tune you've heard countless times. Tim does his singing, slides across the stage, works the crowd, has the little girls all thrilled, as he does the rock star act of touching hands with the screamers.
Tim finishes. Randy Jackson says something unflattering. I don't remember what. Oh, part of it was that standard useful criticism, "very karaoke, dude."
Then the increasingly useless Ellen DeGeneres opined that it was like watching High School Musical with Tim being Zac Ephron. I may be getting the name wrong. Ellen also mentioned that Tim had a lot of fans who likely loved what he'd just done, but she was not one of them.
The wretchedly annoying Kara DioGuardi then told Tim he had not sold millions of albums, that he had no business acting like an established artist by working the crowd like he did, this, after Ellen had just opined Tim had a lot of adoring fans. And after the Contrary Cranks had told the singers to work harder at filling the stage.
Then Simon Cowell delivered the final Bitch Slap. Telling Tim he had absolutely no chance of winning this competition, that what he'd done on stage was utter corny rubbish.
I forget which of these idiots told Tim he needed to get some vocal training. Why was this not noticed before Tim was in the Final 11? If indeed it is true.
So, if Tim is so bad, how is it that he is in the Top 11? That he was in the Top 24? That he made it to Hollywood? Oh, that's right, it's the Idiot Contrary Cranks who put Tim on the show so they could have themselves a real fine time seeing how badly they could crush the kid's self esteem.
Anyway, American Idol has really Jumped the Shark for me. All 4 of those Contrary Crank so-called Judges need a severe Bitch Slapping.
