Wednesday, January 24, 2007

House of Crap

Well, seeing how some of you have not been enjoying my Blogs on what I consider the best TV show in the world, today I'm going to Blog about the worst TV show in the world and see how you like it!!

Now, I confess that when I was in high school, I sorta liked the Backstreet Boys. I sorta liked them enough to buy all of their CDs and secretly listen to them whenever I got a chance. Hell, I still do. I mean, c'mon...Who didn't think Brian was the cutest guy ever?

Oh yeah. That's right. There was a rather large contingency of teenage girls who thought Nick was the cutest guy ever. I was never among that group, but he was definitely the most popular Backstreet Boy. His bleach blonde hair and whiny, nasal-y voice made girls scream and faint. He never had that effect on me. Until now. Now he makes me want to scream and faint. And not in a good way...

The Backstreet Boy days of glory are long over, and their attempt at a comeback in the past few years can be chalked up to one big joke. Boy bands have all but disappeared, and they're not even cool anymore to the teeny-bopper crowd. But one Backstreet Boy just can't let go of his last little shred of fame, and that Backstreet Boy is, in fact, Nick Carter.

If you haven't caught Nick's reality show House of Carters on MuchMusic, you're one of the lucky ones. There's a lot of really bad TV out there, but this show has seriously got to be the worst. And the really sad thing is that it's not just Nick. His whole family of nasal-y, whiny, bleach-blonde, pathetic, spotlight-groveling losers are with him, providing a whole half-hour of craptacular entertainment. And I think MuchMusic runs the show fifteen times a day, every day. Yipee.

My first observation in the bits & pieces I've seen of several episodes is that Nick looks like a bloated, burnt-out pop star. Which, I guess, in all fairness, he is. The premise is that he has collected all of his younger siblings, who have been scattered all across the great country of the U.S., to come and live with him in a big, sprawling mansion, so that they can bond and heal together as a family.

There's Leslie, the wannabe-rockstar with baggy eyes and saggy boobs who can't get her career off the ground. There's Aaron, the former teeny-bopper who is now attempting to launch himself into the world of producing albums (but he really should be working on that super-bad acne problem he's got all over his face). There's Angel, Aaron's twin sister, who really, really wants to be a supermodel (and the only thing she's got going for her is she doesn't share her twin's zit affliction). And there's BJ, the alcoholic sister who feels sorry for herself and begrudges all of her siblings for their wide array of talents (snicker, snicker).

Oh, and they've got a million dogs running around the house, as well.

Apparently the Carter kids had a rough up-bringing, and there's a lot of resentment towards each other and their parents. So Nick wants his siblings to become closer and work together to fix their relationships.

Sounds just delightful, doesn't it? Down-right heartwarming.

So here's a prime example of the Carter kids show their love for one another and work out their differences in a mature manner: The girls are all in a huge fight, with BJ and Angel ganging up on Leslie by leaving a bag of dog shit on her bed. Leslie whines for a while about her room smelling bad, then discovers the bag. She takes it and launches it at her sisters, who then remove the dog turds from the bag - by hand - and throw it at their sister, who slams her door while her sisters pelt it with handfuls of dog poop.

Oh, I warned you it was craptacular!!

So then along comes Nick, the doting big brother, who cleans up the mess in the hallway outside Leslie's room and then hugs her and tells her everything's going to be OK, and that they all love one another but that sometimes they show it in weird ways. Uh-huh. Sure. That's how I display my affection for my brother & sister. I throw cow pies at them.

I can't believe this TV show ever made it on-air. I can't believe these kids all think they're so gifted. I can't believe that someone hasn't slapped 'em all upside the head and told them to grow up. I can't believe they act like this with cameras on them 24/7.

I can't believe I've actually watched several agonizing episodes.

So if you haven't already tuned in to the wild & wacky world of the Carters, please take this Blog as a warning and don't bother. Save yourself the punishment. It's a waste of time.

Bet you're wishing I'd Blogged about Grey's Anatomy now, aren't ya?? ;o)