Here's What I Have To Say About Beyonce And Britney Spears At The Billboard Music Awards

It's pretty much taken me 24 hours to muster up the energy to comment on Beyonce and Britney Spears' performances on last night's Billboard Music Awards because of the following reasons:

1. Beyonce's well-timed Millennium Award has caused her disaster flop single to climb to #15 on iTunes, and for that I might have to Travis Bickle (see above video, Pop Chyldryn) the next person I hear playing the shit track.

2. Britney is a dead-in-the-eyes zombie twat. I actually lied about waiting to comment on this — I typed up a whole post at Idolator today about her phoned-in "live performances."  WASTED. Max Martin and Dr. Luke, in the future, please give all insanely rad tracks to Kelly Clarkson, Pink or even Katy Pussy instead.

3. I was too busy Barbie Doll-legging myself all day to Lady Gaga's fucking fantastic new album.