I fast forwarded through last night's The Bachelor during lunch. I've always thought this show seems scripted due to how each iteration seems to follow, for the most part, the same plot line with the same words.
Right on schedule, all three remaining women, Chantal, Emily and Ashley, are falling in love with Brad.
Falling in love is required by the time The Bachelor takes his 3 remaining potential wives to some exotic location where they are surprised, because they've never seen the show, to be given an envelope from Chris Harrison with a key to the fabled "Fantasy Suite," should they choose to fore go their individual rooms and spend the night as a couple in the same bed.
Chantal was first up for the Fantasy Suite. After a day spent on safari in a South Africa nature preserve, Chantal eagerly accepted the Fantasy Suite offer. It was a treehouse. I saw no bathroom. Maybe there was an outhouse on the ground level.
Next up was Emily. Brad took her on an elephant ride. Emily also accepted the Fantasy Suite offer, after appearing to be a bit reluctant due to this behavior's possible bad example on her impressionable daughter.
The cameras always follow them into the Fantasy Suite, then linger, even though it is always stated that one of the assets of the Fantasy Suite is alone time away from the cameras. I suppose eventually the Fantasy Suite is camera-free.
Last up was Ashley. Brad took her on a helicopter ride over some spectacular scenery. Brad seems, to me, to have really awkward conversational skills. He can get twitchy. And to me he can look a bit weaselly.
The conversations with Emily are really dull. Brad seems a bit more natural with Chantal. But with Ashley it was really strange. It was like everything Brad asked just got them more disconnected. I couldn't figure out what he was trying to ask. He is very inarticulate.
But, Ashley accepted the Fantasy Suite offer.
Next up was the Sacred Rose Ceremony. The three women were standing outside. Brad arrived and asked to talk to Ashley, leaving the other two standing for what seemed a couple hours. Basically Brad tried to talk to Ashley again about how and why their Fantasy Date went south. This turned into the same type inarticulateness that caused the problem.
Eventually Brad decided that he could not put Ashley through the Sacred Rose Ceremony since he knew he had to get rid of her. So, Brad stuck Ashley in what looked like am Armored Vehicle and off she went. What I did not get is how did that Armored Vehicle know to arrive?
See what I mean? Scripted.
Then, as Brad was in flummoxed agony, we went to break, with Chantal and Emily still standing, while we went live to Tom Bergeron and Brook Burke.
Apparently we'd gone live previously during a break that I fast forwarded through. The live announcement of the new Dancing with the Stars cast. The only "stars" I recognized were Kirstie Alley, Wendy Williams, Kendra Wilkinson, Ralph Macchio and Sugar Ray Leonard.
And then it was back to The Bachelor where Brad finally returned to the Sacred Rose Ceremony, which seemed a bit odd, because he'd already sent Ashley home. But, Brad went ahead with asking Chantal and then Emily if they would accept the Sacred Rose.
Both did, because like I already told you, they are falling in love with a man they can see spending the rest of their lives with.
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